..Destroyed.. Chapter 5-Dinner

X-Men Fanfic
Destroyed
Do you know what it's like to feel all alone? When all that you want is to give up and go home?
            -Anonymous
Chapter Five: Dinner



I dodged whoever was sent to come find me – I didn't know who, and I didn't have any particular interest in finding out, either – and headed towards the dining hall. This was a place firmly fixed in the knowledge from the blue person – from Kurt. I anticipated the room before I entered: large, sharing a room with the kitchen, and designed to seat at least three dozen people. That seemed to be just as well, from what I could tell as I stared at the room. Nothing I had seen could have prepared me for the selection of foods on the table, of which I was certain there were more things than I had eaten in the last three years, including my favourite, which was shepherd's pie, close to the end of the table. Even more stunning was the multitude of people seated at the table. Every seat was full except for a few, and the closest empty one was the one alongside the blond from Xavier's office. I took that seat, feeling slightly jittery.

"Hello," he greeted me quietly, setting a fork down on his plate and reaching across the table.

"Hi," I responded, watching him cautiously, like a lion watching someone eye the prey I'd spent days tracking. His plate was full, so I had no idea what he was doing, reaching for food.

My question was answered a couple of seconds later as he passed me the dish containing the pie. I glanced up at him, surprised, and he shrugged. "I saw you focus on it almost as soon as you walked in the door. Besides, it's probably the most filling thing on this table, especially if you haven't eaten properly of late," he gestured to his own plate, which, I finally realised, was home to a decent portion of the dish. I felt my lips twitch in a smile of thanks, which he returned, though I wasn't sure why. "Don't mention it. Hue, wasn't it?"

"Yes. And you're Warren, right?"

"I'm surprised you didn't go straight for 'Angel'."

"Why? Warren's your name, isn't it?"

"I guess." He turned back to his meal, and I glanced down the table.

I didn't know a lot of the people by name, only by face. Fallen and Kurt were a few seats to the left, on the other side of the table. They seemed to be focused on a brunette girl, one Kurt's memories referred to as 'Kitty', who was seated beside some Asian girl. Several of the people seated along the table were about fifteen or older, but a lot more of them were as young as or younger than myself. Another brunette, this one with white streaks in her bangs, flicked a glance towards me before returning to staring bitterly down at her plate. As my mind linked her with a bitter, selfish woman who changed sides and betrayed her friends quicker than any of the others, I knew instantaneously that I would never get along with her. She was much to fickle and, more than that, she was too self-pitying.

Fallen chose that moment to turn from Kitty and happened to notice my gaze. She grinned at me, giving a little wave and nudging Kurt, who sat beside her. He turned as well, then focused on me and beamed. Over the commotion in the hall, he called to me. "Hey, Hue! You vound zee Provessor alright, then?"

"Mm," I nodded absently, a slight smile forming and then falling from my face.

"Hey, are you okay?" Fallen called, surprisingly quiet considering the ruckus. I shrugged.

"As much as one might expect."

"Right…"

"Hey, who's the new chick?"

"Where'd she come from?"

"Is that the girl you were sent for, Scott?"

"I'm not sure." I focused in on the conversation between the two: one had glasses with red lenses, a male that I matched with the name 'Scott' and 'Cyclops'. He appeared to be speaking to a red-head. I figured that, if he was the 'Scott' that Kurt had been talking about before, then she must have been Jean. I stared at them as they spoke. "I didn't actually see her. It was more a quick pick-up mission, with Fallen and Kurt heading out to collect the target. I guess it probably was her, though."

Jean smiled at me then, catching my gaze. I turned away. Stay out of my head, mindreader, I snapped mentally. Her presence in my mind withdrew abruptly after that.

Now, now, Hue. Be polite. After all, if you decide to stay on, Jean will be one of your teachers.

"There's no point in my going to a class. I'll just take everything from the book or teacher the second I touch them," I muttered.

Angel sputtered slightly, appearing to have choked on the water he was drinking. "W-what was that?"

"Didn't Xavier tell you?" I asked coldly. "I absorb knowledge, memories. From what I know about the people here, it's much like Rogue's power, except I don't cause anyone except for myself any pain. Isn't that just great."

"You sound upset about it."

"Of course I'm freaking upset about it! Apparently, the only thing it got me was the wings of a demon and fingers sharp enough that I can seriously hurt myself without even noticing as much."

"Is that why you were covered in blood before?"

"I don't see why it matters to you, but yes. Yes, the reason that I was covered in blood is that I'm too stupid to realise that my cursed fingers were buried at least a centimetre deep in my skin."

"Doesn't that –"

"Yes, it hurts. I hurts a lot," I told him, straight faced. If it had been Fallen or any other person in the room, I would have brushed it off, or not said anything more about it. I didn't actually understand why I was telling, of all people, the one that Fallen thought was my 'polar opposite'. I shovelled the last mouthful of pie into my mouth, vaguely aware that I hadn't actually tasted it as it went down.

"Oh, hi," the girl who I'd inadvertently ended up seated beside turned to face me. "I didn't notice you there. My name's Rahne, I'm a shapeshifter. Wolf, only, not like Mystique," she laughed slightly, holding out her hand. I stared at her. After thirty incredibly strained seconds, she smiled at me. "You know, if you don't understand – all you have to do is –"

"I know how a handshake works," I snapped. "I just don't want you to touch me."

She finally withdrew her hand, her expression offended. "Well, fine. If you don't want –"

It was then that I realised everything had gone deathly silent. The next person down the table was a tan blond with orange bangs. He leant forward in his chair to see me around the distressed girl, breaking the quiet. "Who d'you think you are, talking to Wolfsbane like that? What gives you the right to?"

"Yeah," a boy with light brown hair added. "No one gets off talking of us like that!"

"Hey, hey, now," Warren interrupted the two boys as they rose from their seat. They stopped, but their gazes remained fixed on me. "Just let her be. She's…she's tired, that's all. Come on, Hue, I'll…show you to your room."

I stood up beside him, still blank-faced, and followed him from the room. He led me on a weaving path through the mansion, until we got to what appeared to be an empty room, and he held the door open for me, closing it after me. It was only then that he finally spoke.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know perfectly well what. A bunch of teenaged mutants with a very tenuous control over their abilities, and you go right off and verbally assault the one that everyone has gotten used to protecting. Why would you do that?"

"I told you my power," I snapped. "I can't control it, can't stop it with a layer of fabric, not like what Rogue can do. It might be less dangerous than hers, but I still don't like to use it," I didn't want to yell and so, instead, I folded my fingers into fists and dug them into the palm of my hand, releasing some of my stress in that act of self-aimed violence.

"All the same – a simple handshake couldn't have been so much trouble, could it? It would be her own fault, and it wouldn't cause her any pain anyway."

"But it could hurt me," I finally admitted. My one fear, the reason I didn't trust: contact could result in my own pain. I had felt it when he'd brushed against me in Xavier's office, and I was wondering if the pain tended to come off of mutants. I didn't want to find out. "It could hurt me."

"Oh." He appeared, at first, to be lost for words. "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't know," I said. "Nobody gives you information that you don't want to know."

"The Professor will want to know. And so do I."

"No, you don't," I told him. "Now leave me alone."

"Fine. But when you get lonely, when you need someone to talk to, just ask the Professor to find me. I promise you, I will come."

"I won't need you," I sounded confident of that. As he left, I thought to myself: What if I'm wrong?